Coming to this party late, via your cleaned up posts then reading the comments on this one.

I have an oblique angle to add, having read the posts and the reactions. I'm interested in how much nuances of culture, despite speaking the same language, contributed to the debate in this post.

We're both Australian, operating in a multi-nation internet, where often the dominant voice is that of our US based friends. I should give you, and other comments readers, some of my background which will give context to the assumptions/observations on the rest of this post:

I was born and lived in Sydney until I was 30, when I moved to the UK to be with a lovely man – last year. Except for a year when I was 16 when I went on exchange in Thailand. My teens and early twenties were spent negotiating inter-cultural relationships, mostly Asian to Australian, but also American to Australian. One of the most relevant statements for international students is that the America-Australia exchange can be the most challenging as it is assumed that because everyone speaks the same language, and the prevalence of American media, that understanding will be easy. It isn't, as it relies on observations of nuances in meaning and behavioural expectations.

As stated above I am now living in London, where most people I mix with are English. The rule I described above holds true here as well. Misunderstandings frequently occur as nuances of meaning and behavioural expectations are different but not explained. I frequently come a cropper on the difference between the English stiff upper lip, and the Australian desire to rant and get it out of the system (quite pertinent here).

In between those two experiences I was an “internet celebrity” (firmly tongue in cheek) for an internet based radio station, with a listener base of 100 regulars, up to 200 itinerants. This was intense, as that's a large listener base for an internet radio station, especially in the pre-social media world (this is before FB, for instance). My schtick was the promotion of Australian music to an audience that hadn't come across it. Most of my listener base were from the UK and the US. We had a dedicated chat server, so I could see my listeners responses to my show in real time and respond to their questions in real time. I found that often during my shows I would be translating the nuances of the 3 cultural points of view. It's my “thing”.

I should also state upfront that I operate on the rule: “not right, not wrong, just different” when it comes to cultural observations and commentary. No way is better or worse, per se. We (often) unconsciously assume everyone knows the context for what is being said. This doesn’t always hold true

So with that background, there are three relevant points I've noticed in the comments here, which may possibly explain why you weren't a bit thrown by the reaction:

1. Australians (in general) swear, and it's OK (although there are subtle rules). Americans (in general) don't and it's seen has highly offensive to do so. Especially the use of the word 'fuck' which is generally used in Australian as a highlighter to a point, it's not aggressive, and not really rude (you wouldn't want your child to be saying it though). Many Americans that I've come across really object to its use. (likewise dildos and bottoms, to some extent, could be used as a descriptive, albeit emotional, metaphor rather than a direct attack)

Even those of us who are well spoken and articulate will generally swear it in a specific context/mood. Generally on my radio shows it was unneccessary and out of context (e.g. your regular posts), but when I did use it (some teenage listener was being rude to me and my show in the chat room) it elicited a strong response from my audience.

This is not to say stop using fuck, as I think it is important in context, and adds flavour to your thoughts, but just be aware that it is a serious trigger word for some people and may explain if you get a stronger reaction than you expected. A good velvet rope, as you've pointed out above.

2. Rants. Rants are good (TM). But most of the rest of the English speaking world doesn't necessarily agree with this. Rants are also, in Australia, not directed as a personal attack, and they are heart-felt. They are the way we vent and get strong emotions and opinions out of the system to then allow constructive interactions (your 2nd and 3rd posts are a good example of this development) We mean what we say when we rant, but also acknowledge that there is more than one side to the story. They are the sort of thing you would share with a Friend when you are very disappointed about something (not getting a call that you were looking forward to), or when down at the pub with mates and an important topic is brought up (how to avoid website heresies).

This is how I read your post. Possibly others didn't, as they don't have the context of the rant, nor understand its place and its nuances, and the way it can develop into a constructive conversation.

3. Not thinking you're special, not allowing that you could (also) be a cool kid. The tall-poppy syndrome. Australians are socially trained from an early age to not believe they are particularly clever, or special, but that we are all (relatively) equal. We're subjected to the horrible phrase: “up yourself” throughout school, to describe someone who states that other people like them, someone who dares to think they are somewhat cool (especially those sorts of girls who are intelligent and capable and who grow up to be able to write blog posts about awesome websites).

We learn to subtly pick up whether someone likes us and thinks we're cool through tone of voice and direct interaction. In many ways we are much more aware of subtext. We know that people can just be politely interacting, rather than thinking we're cool and forwarding our tweets (for instance). Americans (in general) tend to be much more upfront about such things, and will tell you what they think, expect that you understand that they'd not be paying you any attention if you weren't worth it, and expecting you to check in with them if there's a problem.

Scott suggested you could ask him whether he thought you were cool (his cultural nuance). I suspect that the very thought makes you cringe (your cultural nuance)?

There's no easy solution to this, it changes with practice and observation, and will always be true in various arenas of our life – I firmly believe that I am cool in relation to playing music, or when dealing with waste policy in Australia, but I am a quivering mess of nerves in relation to my ability to do my current job, as it involves leading a group of managers, even though in reality it will be fine.

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None of the above points change the reason for your original post, nor the very good changes you've made since. Nor is this an apology for you, or anyone else who posted here. It just occurred to me as I was reading the responses that there'd been a substantial miscommunication of nuanced cultural expectations.

Also, apologies for writing such a long comment. These sorts of statement will eventually have a home in a blog, once I finish designing my bf's business's awesome website and then build my own. Once spider solitaire stops preventing me from doing this

Have you ever noticed how we seem to spend our entire lives repeating the dramas of the school playground in our heads, over and over again?