photo credit: Robert Couse-Baker
I slept wretchedly last night. Starting at midnight until about 6:30, my brain would NOT shut up about all the things I need to take care of before my next product can go live. Worse, it kept trying to solve problems that are really quite unsolveable at 3am in bed, like finding the right plugin to display videos. Undeterred, my brain kept trying to dream up solutions on totally insufficient data. Half-asleep, I begged and pleaded with myself to let it go and rest so I could actually get up in the morning and start completing this damn task list, but nope. Toss, turn, fret and tangle the sheets. Productive!
But here I am an hour after waking up, feeling pretty damn alert. I’ve already knocked five jobs off the list and am working on the others. One of the few (very few) bits of wisdom from my brain last night is that my pick-a-date-on-the-calendar go-live date of this Sunday means that every single module (I’ll be producing one a week for 17 weeks) would go live on my Official Day Off, where I’ll be away from my email and unable to respond if things go awry. So changing the live date to this Tuesday (which will be Monday for most of you) would be a much smarter strategic idea. So that’s the plan, as long as I figure out the damn video display by then.
Stuff happens, you know?
The stress-out part I can’t control. I lost count of the number of times I attempted to switch channels on my brain and think about something, anything else. Half-asleep, I have no resources to focus my attention to more useful paths.
But I can control my awake self. I can open my to-do list so that all the 3am thoughts can be safely corralled and forgotten about right now. I can reply to the vital emails first and work on the mechanical, simple work while my creative brain wakes up. I can guide myself into realising what tasks are time-critical (must be done before going live) and what aren’t (like expanding on the skeleton text on a couple of pages). I can assess the amount of work that I must do and what I can get help with. And so all I’m left with is a manageable, productive and smart workload… and a strong desire to nap later in the day. It feels fine.
When not to push
Kicking myself about the bad sleep would be more than useless. I can’t change what I can’t change. I won’t chide myself for having a brain meltdown yesterday while researching video display plugins and taking most of the day off to play World of Warcraft. I won’t beat myself up for the days I’ve slept in because of illness, or the times I’ve gotten overwhelmed and gone off to sit in the sun. Trying to control those moments would just make me feel bad and accomplish no improvement. If I pushed, I would end up zombie-like in front of the monitor, sighing deeply and clicking a button or two. Miserable. Unproductive. And heading for burnout.
Instead, I focus on the times when I CAN improve. When I’m not too sleepy to plough through the to-do list, or I write inspiring copy, or I shoot a whole module’s videos in one morning. Where I have enough energy, focus and drive to push without breaking something. Because I accomplish a whole week’s worth of useful work in that super-charged morning and walk away feeling fine.
The balance
I never had nights like last night when I was swaddled in the loving arms of the Day Job. (Except for that night when I dreamt there was a lobster in my bed.)
But in the Day Job, I had to keep showing up during the dry times, when I was half-asleep or uninspired, to stare blankly at the screen for eight hours and wish I was at home playing World of Warcraft. I had to push when the tank was empty. I had to deliver on timelines that I had no input in.
It’s worth the occasional horror-night for this freedom and rhythm.
Are your downsides worth the upsides? Tell me in the comments!
P.S. Oh dearest darlings, there is SUCH an exciting thing happening. (Another one! My life is full of exciting events right now, which is undoubtedly a prime cause of the tangled sheets.)
With the wonderful and magnificent Tara of Blonde Chicken, I am doing my very first teleclass. Wahoo!
We were chatting about a question that came up again and again and again in the free consulting sessions I did with crafters and artists and the question was, “Why would they buy this?” Most artists and crafters make things for very personal reas0ns – usually, because they want the thing to exist – and thus they struggle in explaining why someone else should buy it. So I’m gonna tell them how. Tara calls me a “brilliant expert”! (Sweet!)
The teleclass is next week (yes, I KNOW… I’m an overcommitter) and it is only $30 and you should totally sign up if you’re a crafty/arty person looking for better ways to sell your wonderful thing. I’d love to have the support for my first ever teleclass.