Social media encourages two common and contradictory mistakes. Social media is fun that way.

Over-committing to social media

You wake up and check your Twitter, check out the new followers and send five replies and seven retweets. Then off to Facebook to respond to 82 comments on your fan page (you get through 20 by copy/pasting as a response), then back to Twitter, three more replies and a direct message about a new article from someone you want to connect with so you StumbleUpon and Digg the article and link in Twitter and realise your feed’s been pretty quiet so you announce the first thought in your head (bagels. Less crispy than when I was a kid, amirite?) Then back to your personal Facebook page, quickly scan the sixteen pages of updates, strategically use your smily face again, go to a forum you like and hang out for awhile, then spend twelve minutes answering a few questions in LinkedIn, back to Twitter, Digg another post… where did the day go?

You feel tired, frazzled and unfulfilled, because none of those “relationships” went anywhere.

But why would they? You just spent a whole day making hasty, impersonal and shallow connections on social media. That wasn’t strategic, that was a waste.

To build relationships you have to keep showing up with your full attention. There’s only so much you to go around! You need to choose the social media sites that:

• Your potential and existing customers use
• You enjoy using
• Are aligned with your online strategy

And you shouldn’t use many! One is fine. Two is possible. Three is stretching it. There is no four.

Choose them, and invest in them. Turn up every day and add some value. Keep connecting and showing how reliable and interesting and funny and knowledgeable you are.

Under-committing to social media

You open your Twitter client and skim through the latest tweets, then close it and go do something else. You read the lastest forum posts and reply with “great job!”  You give five thumbs-up on Facebook. You connect with 500 people on LinkedIn, post nothing, and wait for them to offer you work.

Is it any wonder this goes nowhere?

To connect you have to bring some value. Your insights, your advice, and most important, yourself. Saying you’re “using social media” when you’re not interacting is like going to a networking event, lurking in the corner all night, and wondering why no-one has your business card.

Step it up! Start conversations. Leave comments. Write about your ill-fitting shoes or your fantastic clients or your football team. Be interesting, interested, engaged and personal. Write in your voice, not corp-speak. Act like you’re at a family barbeque. Be a real person.

Your five-minute mission, should you choose to accept it…

1. Decide on which social media sites you’re going to use.

2. Stop using the others.

3. Spend a half hour on each: connecting, joking, advising, replying, linking and commenting.

4. Too much? Then go back to step 1.

What social media are you using? Tell us in the comments!

We interrupt the stream of heresies for a guest post by Mike. Less controversial, but it’s funny and makes a lot of sense.

Whether you’ve paid much attention to it…err…scratch that. Whether you’ve jumped into the social media trend or not, one clear fact remains: Social media has taken over the web as we know it.

And the truth is, many are absolutely capitalizing on this massive traffic and building up their brand and websites through it. Whether you think Twitter is dumb or Facebook is this or that, you should still think about making your site more social. Good chances are, your visitors and readers use them so it would actually be a convenience for them if you made a few little changes.

1. Make it clear where else they can find you. Not all sites don’t do this but there are cases where people will forget to display their social profiles in clear view. Big mistake. Just because people visit your site or read your blog, doesn’t mean that’s all they’ll be interested in. You’d be surprised how many would like to follow you on Twitter or become a fan on Facebook. Try it and see.

2. Make your site “socially” shareable. What I mean by that is get a retweet button like on Be Awesome Online, a Facebook share button, and depending on what you want to do, social bookmark buttons or a plugin so people can share on Digg, Stumbleupon, etc.

You probably already do that but also pay attention to where these things are located. Maybe test them in different locations and see what happens. What could have been there may perform better here and so on. It’s awesome that people come to read what you have to say and comment, but it’s even cooler when those same people share your content and bring in new visitors that do the same.

3. The holy grail: Be social yourself! You’ve got the profiles created, you have the accounts setup, now get out there and start talking with people. Yeah, post links to your new content and things of that nature, but be more social yourself. You don’t have to have a novel idea or an amazing topic starter to get into the conversation…you just need to get talking and engaging with other like-minded people.
Your social media profiles are an extension of your brand and site so by being more social yourself, you’ll increase the value of your site and potentially create a very nice traffic stream.

In what ways are you using social media? Are you using it to build your brand/site or are you using it for personal use? Also, any tips to add to the discussion?

Mike Stenger is a social media consultant with a strong passion of business and all things Internet. You can find Mike at his blog where he talks about success, business and social media strategies. You can also follow Mike on Twitter.