The weird part about relationship marketing

Yes, I find it hard to sell to my friends. But, it's getting easier. I have also met some killer friends that have been my customers first.

That does help. How did you do it? Just sit on your hands and let them buy?

Step. Away. From. The. Computer.

I never could charge my friends for setting up websites, even when they offered to pay. “No, no, I don't charge my friends,” was my standard line. But they were offline friends, and the work was easy. Also, there was always the chance of ill feelings if they paid and weren't happy with the result. One acquaintance did pay and it ended badly. I finally gave up on setting up websites for others – too frustrating, hardly any money.

As far as products go, I haven't reached that point yet, but I can see that I might have a problem if a friend asked for a freebie. Sorry, no helpful advice here!

Just be prepared, is all I can say.

I totally understand! It's not an Australian thing . . . I know that some of my friends would gladly pay me to give them Reiki treatments. But I feel so *funny* about charging my friends! Hopefully I'll get over it soon because I think that sometimes friends make the best clients.

LOL

Yeah, I know what you mean.

It used to be both gratifying & depressing to work hard shopping at the wholesaler's gem show, then come home and have all our best stuff go for 'mate's rates' as you put it. (Love that term!) Our friends had great taste in stones, I'll give them that.

So, I'm glad to read that you will understand when I say that I've come to the conclusion (and ran it past Mike to make sure it was okay), that after having read your sales page, I don't care if I have to eat beans all next week (and I don't think it will be quite that bad), I'm buying your product on Friday.

Btw, gentle suggestion – be more gentle with yourself. Neither your bum, nor any other part of you, have ever come across to me as dumb. You have a large, caring heart, and that is hardly a negative thing.

*hugs!*

Give it a try! Tell them that you're offering your services and see what they say…

Awww.

Oh, this is too funny! You're describing my life. I instinctively want to say, “Oh but you can have it for…” when they didn't even ask and were quite prepared to pay the full price. What's really silly is you always hope the people who become your customers will stick around and become friends, so then what? Now you can't charge them any more? I don't think I've come across this theory in any of my marketing classes:-). Ah well, glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks this way!

Exactly! None of the other how-to-market people I've seen have talked about it, either.

Just sharing a few thoughts:
1) In the United States we have a name for someone who won't take money from their friends … The word is “employee”.
2) Seriously, your thoughtfulness is commendable, so when you become a gazillionaire, definitely give your stuff away. Until then, I think Wendy's advice is right on, “Step. Away. From. The. Computer.”
3) Just to make sure I didn't miss something, I went back and re-read your sales letter and I don't see anything where you are forcing people to buy. Heck, there was even a discount for those on your advanced discount list. With no one forced to buy, and most people being extra attentive with their dollars these days, my conclusion is that people are buying because they are interested in your product
4) Your dilemma reminds me of an awesome video I watched earlier this year about a little girl who had trouble charging her friends for her product. The video is on the top right of this page: http://alexisrodrigo.com. It is one of the nicest introductory videos I've ever seen, and in my mind, does a wonderful job of compelling prospective business owners to sign up to learn how to market their awesome products/services without resorting to “hypey, high-pressure, sleazy sales tactics”. My point in mentioning Lexi's video is that you've worked hard on your product, you've poured your heart and soul into it, and now it's time to sell it so everyone can discover its awesomeness.
5) I'm happy to report that I'm greatly enjoying your product. The text resources include a well-rounded look at fear from many angles and useful strategies for kicking fear's butt. As for the audios, I've enjoyed four interviews so far and I'm impressed with your awesome interview style and the candid information people are sharing. I'm looking forward to long car rides tomorrow and Thursday so I can listen to the rest.

“In the United States we have a name for someone who won't take money from their friends … The word is “employee”. “

I HAD to tweet that.

Of course I do know my resource is worth what I'm selling it for, and I don't think I'm pushing people into the sale. I know this is just a weird quirk I have to get over. Still hard, though!

(Also, I love Lexi. Isn't she great?)

So glad you're enjoying the resource so far!

Catherine, I'm so with you on this one. Each time someone has bought a product from me that I get that “you should have asked!!!!” feeling, I've resisted the urge. I've refunded no money. On the flipside, I don't ask my friends that make stuff, who I know would give me stuff, for things for free. I pay for it.

I think what it all comes down to is trusting the value of your product and loving the price tag you put on it.

Hey, I just started Sonia Simone's Remarkable Blueprint course – I saw your smiling face on there. Cool! It's like I walked into a new class at school and knew one of the kids!

I do! I swear I do! And yet.

I agree with you here. Australian friends and family always want mates rates. It feels rude to charge them the same amount for photographs as normal customers. I think family and friends feel like they're doing me a favour by buying my product in the first place.

Does anyone else ever get that feeling?

I'll join in the conversation and say “I know what you mean!”. It is interesting that it's something you wouldn't normally think about as you set out on building relationships with your customers.

I am someone though who charges my friends for Reiki sessions, and I can say it has gotten easier over time. At first I was like “oh, can I really do this!?” but I knew I had to just put myself out there; as to be perfectly honest, it felt way less scarier putting myself out there to do sessions with friends than to strangers. Taking the money at first seemed a little weird, but you know what, I love it that the system is set up now. Most my friends live in the city (I am couple of hours away) and I just let them know when I will be up and they can book in sessions if they want. No-one feels pressured to book with me. They know I don't mind either way. Hell, there are even friends in our group that give away Reiki sessions but still some people chose to book with me. Admittedly I charge 'mates rates', but I set the amount at a rate they wouldn't get cheaper anywhere else professionally but which was still valuing my time and service.

The best advice I got was from my Reiki Master-Teacher who urged us all not to just “give away our sessions”…she said there had to be some exchange of energy of some sort (whether it was money, a cup of tea, a book, anything!). Through the process of exchange we honour the gifts we are sharing with one another.

It just so happens that currency is a very convenient way to exchange that energy.

You know what Peter, I totally get that feeling.

But do you think perhaps we are being a little hard on ourselves by thinking that? That perhaps instead maybe, just maybe, they are buying from us/using our services because they think we do a great job???

Well said.

Do you have any friends who don't respect you and try to get stuff for free?

Good point. I guess it is hard to think that you have something that people might actually like. I mean, I'm only selling those photos in the first place if I think they are (somewhat) good.

It's hard to think of how good you are, especially when there are so many people to compare to. But we all have our good points!

You know I really don't. But I think I have been consciously creating distance between myself and those people I have had in my life that would have possibly been prone to try and take advantage of me.

I think it helps when you set your own boundaries and people know what is okay and not okay in your world. I am still working on defining what they are for me in all areas, but in terms of the “charging for Reiki” I am clear on it. It seems that my very clear decision on the matter means I just don't attract the people who don't want to pay.

I have really kick arse friends so that helps too

Absolutely! We all have our own unique things to offer. So often we're the last people to admit that, despite everyone else (like the people buying our stuff) already seeing it!

(ps. this is as much of a pep to talk myself as it is to you )

Catherine,

If the goal is to help people (and really mean it), then wouldn't you want to help those closest to you first?

Charge the same price to everyone. Early on, I would charge acquaintances less, then I'd hire them and they charge me full price.

I was the fool! No more. Your work should be worth X no matter who the client is.

Enjoy!

G.

OH yeah. This is totally one of the things that's making it hard for me to get started with my baby biz – all the people I know are my friends, and I want to do the “mate's rates” thing, too.

And yeah, it's not an Australian thing. We have that cultural expectation in the UK too!

Logically I know you're right! Still going to be a challenge for awhile yet.

Ooh, it's even harder with baby biz stuff.

We must resist! Our work is worth paying for!

“Have you ever tried selling stuff to your friends?” not me but somehow my friends and thats because they are in such a niche market that they need to do that and sometime we buy ourself from friends because its easy to do that