I think it’s delightful that creating this resource about fear management has involved so many practical lessons for myself. I’ve added a number of new sections of fears I’ve uncovered, or rediscovered, during this process.
An example? Why of course.
I decided that it would be great to have a few interviews with people who have created successful websites, to ask them what fears they experienced and how they overcame them. So I mentioned the idea in one of the forums I visit, including the line “I know XXX (the forum owner) would be perfect but I’m sure he’s too busy…” Five minutes later I have a comment from him saying “I’m up for it, will be busy but I would love to make time for it.”
Oh. Really? Awesome!
Encouraged, and slightly giddy, I emailed some other Important and Very Busy people. Within 12 hours I had 8 yeses. My first reaction? Panic. Then joy and gratitude and pride. Then panic again. The Voice starts:
Ohmigod can I record interviews through the webcam it’s gotten very flaky maybe it’s the USB connection but can I afford to buy a headset they’re usually too heavy and give me headaches but if I had one I could start recording my posts with Dragon Naturally Speaking which is good because my wrist is starting to hurt and I hear it won’t work with Vista SP2 well I’ll be getting up at 4:30am to get these done probably but who cares oh dear I’ve only written one section so far and the biggest stuff isn’t done and I’m seeing Sus and Troy this weekend I said the first draft would be done by then and I haven’t set up the affiliate program and this will make a great post and do I prepare questions beforehand or just wing it holy crap this is really happening not very many people have signed up for the advanced list but hopefully that will grow right? right? because I really want to quit the Day Job but this will have to sell quite a few copies to let me do that and I want to give away two of the special coaching spots to people who can’t afford it that’ll be good publicity too have a competition maybe I still have to make a good landing page before that guest post and what if my internet fails when I have to record the interview should I use Pamela or something else I think there’s some advice on how to record interviews in Dave’s stuff right I’ll check that and should I email anyone else…
The Voice is all my fears that this is really happening now, I have to finish this resource and then I have to publish it, and that’s when stuff gets scary because that’s the point where I can succeed, or I can fail.
The fear of failure
Obviously, I have a lot riding on this product.
- If no-one buys it I won’t be able to quit the Day Job.
- If it sucks then I’ll be very embarrassed.
- If I screw up the launch I could lose respect and supporters.
- If I pike out and never produce it I’ll feel bad about myself.
- And so on.
The fear of success
I’ve never been a full-time entrepreneur before. What if I make enough to quit the Day Job and find I hate it? What if I go bankrupt because I can’t manage my cash flow (and other “What if I fail at being a success?” thoughts.) What if I never sell anything else, ever again?
Notice the difference between the fears. With failure, I know what failure feels like. I hate it, and I don’t want it, but all of these are consequences I know; I’ve experienced them in the past. The success fears, however, are “what if” fears… they’re fears of uncertainty.
The uncertainty
Uncertainty is much more painful than fear. I can plan for failure, and I can plan for success (ohplease). But if I don’t know what’s going to happen, if I can’t control what’s going to happen, that’s the scariest part. Fear is a normal reaction to risk. Uncertainty is a reaction to risk we feel we can’t control. So it combines danger (I could lose money, or respect, or time) with helplessness (and there’s nothing I can do to stop it). That is a gigantic mind-fuck.
So what did I do?
I let myself panic for a little while, making mental notes of useful points raised by The Voice. (I’ll be checking out headsets later today.)
Then I spent awhile in what I call the Fear Cage Match, playing one fear (“I’ll never achieve anything and I’ll be in this job for the rest of my life!”) off against the others.
Then gently reminding myself of a few truths:
- The people I’m interviewing have been where I am and are very understanding. Technical difficulties might happen, but we’ll find a way to get around them.
- Even if this resource only helps one person manage their fear and build an awesome website, it’ll be worth the time and effort.
- I had zero expectations around the Website in a Weekend course, and it consistently sells with no effort on my part.
- All of these wonderful people are willing to spend half an hour to be interviewed. My product and I must be doing stuff right.
- Even if this doesn’t sell enough to let me quit the Day Job, it will help. And next time, for sure!
- If I do everything I can and it still fails, I will still be proud of myself. And so will other people.
- Imagine if it does work! How awesome it would be.
Then I did some pushups.
And then I sat down and started writing. About fear, success and uncertainty.
Do you find uncertainty to be scarier than fear? Tell me in the comments!
P.S. Why, you might ask, am I not naming some of the spectacular and awesome names I have lined up for interviews? Because, liebchen, they are terribly busy and I don’t want to disappoint if it turns out they can’t make it. But as soon as I have completed an interview, I’ll tell all the people on the advance notice and discount list about it. So if you want to know, you should sign up!