That’s it, I’m done. I used to finish articles that failed this rule but NO MORE.
Dear content producers, if your writing doesn’t do these two things I am hitting the back button so fast that the Flash would be all, “What happened?”
You have to teach me. And you have to be engaging enough to get me to read to the end.
Otherwise? Buhbye.
photo credit: WorldIslandInfo.com
I wanna be educated
If it’s not teaching me something, your article is fluff. Before you freak out, I don’t mean that every post has to be about how to build a doghouse. It can be a practical step-by-step guide or a sad story from your gym class. But it does have to give me an insight into this crazy-ass world and the crazy-ass stuff in it. Why we’re such procrastinators, how to fold a t-shirt correctly, a realisation about your patterns that helps me see mine more clearly, or why you should stay away from honey badgers.
To do that, your article has to be grounded and specific. I have read (and ignored) far too many articles that sound like the routine of a comedian on their first gig. “So, people sure are funny, amirite? The way they do stuff?” Bugger that off and be real. Talk about events, yours and other people’s, in detail. Make it specific. Make it actionable. Make it useful to me! I’m the reader, I’m the reason for the article to exist, and if you give me vague hey-guys-SEO-is-great-but-I’m-not-gonna-tell-you-how-to-actually-do-it-in-any-way-or-even-provide-real-examples-of-why-it’s-great verbiage I am gone.
Tell me what went wrong. Tell me a story that makes me cry and realise that I’m not alone. Teach me.
I definitely don’t wanna be sedated
Interestingly, I’m more forgiving of this second part if the first is done well, but I still have to draw the line.
I want your content to be the SWAT team: flashbangs at the door, in with force, surprise and total overwhelm, shine the light in my face, take me hostage and then out the door. BAM. Nothing wasted, everything on-target and totally engaging (no-one goes to sleep when SWAT breaks into their house), fast and exhilarating and precise.
I say it again, BAM.
What I generally get instead is an apologetic salesman. “Hi, I’ve got this idea, and you know, I think it’s pretty good and all, so if you want to check it out then here it is…”
*snore*
For your article to succeed, I have to read it and then change my life a teeny bit. Whether it’s by buying your product or being more compassionate to homeless people or by updating my About Us page or by writing better copy or folding my t-shirts better, your article has to make me act or it’s pointless. And I’m not going to change anything, not even the t-shirt folding, if I don’t care.
You can’t just lay down the facts, you have to make me CARE.
The instant reaction is, “How on earth do I make you care about the history of vacuum and cathode ray tubes?”
The simple answer is to include emotion: the story of the Colossus bombe used to decrypt the Enigma machines in World War Two, the vicious and underhanded patent battles of Farnsworth and Zworykin… real people, with stories and strong emotions and drama.
The more important answer is this: if you can’t think of why I would care about your point, why the hell are you making it?
I’ll wait for a second while you figure that one out.
If it’s because you care about it, then care in the open. Tell me, in the first sentence, why this matters to you. Make it important. Make it mean something! There is nothing more fascinating than fascination.
If you don’t have a reason… use the delete key before I use my Back button. Don’t add to the pile of useless boring fluff; go write something awesome, instead.
Are you joining me in my ban? Tell me in the comments!