I made some very healthy sales in the first few days of Awesome Fear-Wrangling. I now have an extra two thousand Aussie dollars in my PayPal account, flexing and looking smug. That’s about half of what I calculated I’d need to quit the Day Job and still have a couple months of basic don’t-get-kicked-out-of-the-house savings.
You know what? I’m gonna do it anyway.
Now, if you’re almost everyone I know you’re frightened for me. Heck, I’m frightened for me. But I’m going to do it anyway.
Something’s gotta give
I’ve mentioned on a number of occasions that I have severe Seasonal Affective Disorder: when I don’t manage it well I experience crippling depression and breakdown. Even when I’m doing okay, it seriously limits the amount of mental energy I have to expend… especially when I spend all day inside an office building. I have managed to drag myself through winter as a full-time employee by cutting back my hours slightly then dumping almost all my energy into the work. I would get home at the end of the day and collapse with nothing left except the minimum required to play computer games.
Obviously, there is no room for this website in that scenario. Up until now, I have had the spare energy to do both, to add an extra four hours of work in at the beginning or end of the day. Now, I have two problems. Firstly, my reserves are vanishing. Secondly, the amount of energy required to do the Day Job, which I like but don’t really care about or regard as important, is actually increasing. I have to push harder to get it done.
So while the Day Job comfortably meets my financial needs, coming into winter it takes ALL my available energy to do so. I resent that, knowing that I could go further and do more if I was working at home, doing work I love, with no barriers stopping me from going outside for half an hour to get some light.
I would rather spend my oh-so-precious time and energy on stuff that I think matters. I’m pretty damn sure that will actually improve my energy levels, too.
I have resources
I have half a houseful of Stuff to sell. I have friends who will feed me. I have a medical system that will look after me, an unemployment system that will catch me if I fall badly, and a number of skills and talents I can sell. I have a double handful of options.
Also, my needs are really quite modest. If we strip down a few won’t-miss-’em luxuries I only need to make about $500 a week to keep the lights on and the rent paid.
The Dude is with me
I am so blessed to have a partner who has zero concerns about whether it’ll all work out. He knows that even if absolutely everything goes wrong and we get kicked out of our house it’s not the end of the world.
I have faith
I believe that given a month or two of dedicated, full-time attention, I will find a hundred ways to bring in enough cash to keep afloat. I believe that I am fantastically good at building relationships and opportunities. I believe that this is what I am supposed to be doing and that I will find ways to do it. I believe that all the doomsday scenarios in my head are exceedingly unlikely. I believe I would survive them anyway. I believe that I am frightened and glorious and this is gonna rock.
So, my dearests…
Give me your best wishes as I take the plunge, but don’t tell me I’m doing something risky, because I really do know that already!